As many of you know, am an ASPIE.
An aspie is one who has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is believed to be part of the autism spectrum. Aspies, while being quite gifted verbally, have social, emotional, and sensory integration difficulties, among others. Aspie is an affectionate term, and is not meant as a put down.
When Marie sent me this Note in Facebbok i couldn’t help myself, laughing like a mad one.
Hope you will enjoy it as much as i did.
A cute way to introduce myself and apologize for my post,comments etc
By Maire Kathryn Stonehouse-Shortt For those who are , love or know an Aspie. Silly but fun, adult language ) 38 reasons to enjoy being an Aspie:
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Yesterday at 14:27
1. Say “That’s an arse!” after everything someone says.
2. When visiting the neighbours bring out your black light.
3. While speaking, gaze directly into the air.
4. Stand in the middle of the street while looking up until a crowd gathers, then walk away.
5. Tell the elderly to phuck off when coming between one’s self and one’s marmalade.
6. Weep uncontrollably when asked how one is.
7. When asked how one is actually tell them, the worse the better.
8. When asked how one is, reply “that’s a gross invasion of privacy.”
9. Take everything literally i.e, Can I go in your drawer? Reply “No, you are too big.”
10. When taking public transportation make it obvious your reading your neighbors paper or even better, their book. If you take public transport, your not an Aspie.
11. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
13. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to keep them tuned up.
14. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing. ( who doesn’t do that? )
15. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
16. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
17. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
18. Staple pages in the middle of the page. If you damage books, your not an Aspie.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
21. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.“DO YOU HEAR THAT?”“What?”Never mind, it’s gone now."
22. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
23. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
24. Ask people what gender they are.
25. Sing along at the opera or cough to see how many others do.
26. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
27. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles.
28. Be a moany pants about one’s underwear stating it’s because they haven’t been washed in a week.
29. Breath heavily in line whilst invading personal space.
30. Sing Sting’s ’I’ll be watching you while’ in queue.
31. Constantly say, “Oh, I do love to be beside the seaside!”
32. Continuously narrate one’s tedious life on Facebook while talking about yourself in the third person. “Maire has just just donned her underpants.”
33. Use the phrase intermittently in conversation “My junk has just fallen out of my ginch.” be sure to use a proper English accent.
34. If male, circle fingers around nipples and or rub ones man boobs while talking.
35. If female, stare at the crotch of male conversation partners.
36. Say " What the fish is that!" in ordinary conversation.
37. Say BRB and LOL in ordinary conversation.
38. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss, if you don’t already do this you are not an Aspie.
